I have heard it said that when someone loses their vision, their other senses grow stronger.
When people or things go away, it creates space for something new to come in.
When we get older and lose physical strength, our wisdom comes forward.
When a house burns down, people often say the fresh start was a true gift.
And, when it feels like all is lost, is exactly when we are most connected to our soul.
So, when we lose someone or something, we are always in a process of renewal. I think it will help to remember that when the losses come.
It’s always there on some level, lurking in the shadows or making a full frontal attack. Bad things happen. Tornados, hurricanes, divorce, people close to you get ill or die. It would be easy to become immobile with the sadness of it all, but that doesn’t serve anyone.
Here is what I have learned to do:
Check my perspective: I can see it all as tragic or I can trust that there are blessings too. I give myself permission not to understand and even if it feels yucky know that someone, maybe many, are growing from the experience. People support each other in tragedy, families come together when someone they love is dying, and from the ashes new dreams are born. It is not my place to decide what is good or bad, right or wrong, faith or love.
Do what I can: I read to my friend in hospice, support my clients through their challenges, and listen to a friend who just learned she has a life threatening condition. Volunteering and prayer are ways to help on a larger scale. There is always something I can do.
Focus on gratitude: I am a sensitive person and can easily take on the pain of others, but that does nothing to make things better. Instead, I acknowledge my feelings and let them come forward, but don’t let myself get stuck there. The way I do this is by recognizing the ways my life is blessed. When homes are destroyed by acts of nature I am thankful for the shelter I have and when my friend lost her mobility I was clear that my daily walks were a gift. The tragedies of others can bring into the light how lucky I am.
I am not saying that I have this down perfectly. I am human. What I can say is that this practice supports me and it gets easier each time. I wonder if it could support you, too.
I was working with a client the other day who, like most of us, had a million things on her mind. She was working on multiple goals with multiple steps and finding it hard to focus on any of them. The challenge was that she was wasting her precious mind space trying to hold on to everything.
What she needed was a pending folder for her brain.
We had a lot of fun playing with the idea and she was inspired by what it might feel like to have some free space in her brain again. She realized that to really let go and take things out of her mind, she needed to have a pending system she could trust and decided to use her calendar and a project app to support her mental pending folder.
The real key though, is the releasing part. When she places things in their new temporary homes, she will visualize them leaving her mind, knowing they can be retrieved when she needs them. This means consciously taking a moment to pause, see them safely in their new place, and let go.
When I talked to my client the following week she was excited about her progress. She reported feeling organized, focused, and more creative. Her letting go process was becoming a habit and starting to happen automatically. But, most of all, she said she felt more calm, centered, and sane.
There was one more thing she shared. She liked releasing things so much that she upgraded her pending folder for an external hard drive for her brain that had a lot more storage.
- Focus in on a shorter period of time. Big or long term goals can feel complicated. Make smaller goals for this day, week, or month.
- Stay centered in the present and take one step at a time. Keep asking yourself, “What is the next small thing I can do that will move me forward?”
- Remember that there is no such thing as perfection and nothing has to be forever. You can always change your mind.
Posted November 4, 2013on:
Have you ever had one of those holiday seasons where you felt over-scheduled, over-budget, and just plain frazzled? And, when it was all over you were just glad it was done?
This year can be different.
You can set an intention now for how you want to be and what you want to experience this holiday season before even stepping into the whirlwind of holiday mania. Let go of obligations and expectations and become clear about what would make your holidays meaningful, peaceful, and fun.
Time: Do you want to go to as many parties and events as possible or choose the most important ones and have time to really enjoy them?
The Holiday Dinner: Is it worth doing a grand masterpiece of a dinner if you are too busy and too stressed to be with your friends and family? Or, could you do something simpler, focusing on their favorites and spending more time with them instead?
Spending: Will you buy expensive gifts out of a sense of obligation or choose to give from the heart? Would your friends and family want you to go into debt for their gifts?
When you are clear what you want for your holiday experience, form an intention that will support you in staying true to your heartfelt desires. You may want to post the intention where it is visible or keep a copy in your wallet to help you stay focused.
Let your intention guide you to a more peaceful, joyful, and meaningful holiday season.
What are your holiday season intentions or desires? You can share by clicking on “Comments” under the title of this post.
Posted October 28, 2013on:
Many people believe that we are souls put on this earth to experience life as a means to learning lessons and evolving spiritually.
You might hear them say that when something bad happens it is for the highest good, that you will learn and grow from it, or that there are hidden blessings involved.
What stands out for me is that you only hear people talk about these life lessons when things are going wrong. Is it not probable that we are also here to experience lessons about love, joy, and success?
Consider these life experiences:
- Learning to receive
- Being loved unconditionally
- Connecting with nature
- Living your passion
- Loving someone with all your heart
- The joy of uplifting others
- Experiencing the miracle of carrying and giving birth to a child
Just imagine how your energy will shift when your awareness expands to include the full range of life lessons, the good as well as those that might feel more challenging.
I would love to hear about some of the beautiful life lessons you have experienced. You can share by clicking on “Comments” under the title of this post.
When I hike I have a tendency to look at the ground about 10 feet ahead of me, staying alert to things in my path that might cause me to trip. I can be in the middle of nature’s incredible beauty and all I see is dirt.
When I go for walks in my neighborhood, I do the same. Focus on the concrete, sometimes finding heart shapes in its imperfections or earth worms I can save.
When I look up, the beauty and expansiveness of the world can surprise me. The world is so much more than I focus on. It is filled with color and the sky seems to go on forever.
I am going to practice looking up. I want to experience the expansiveness of my surroundings and the beauty all around me. I want to feel it and soak it in. I want to expand the number of things I have to be grateful for.
Will you join me?