Life Coach Linda

Archive for the ‘Life Challenges’ Category

tired lioness

I lost my oomph and I don’t know where it has gone.  Can anyone relate?

Looking back, it probably started when I hurt my ankle and couldn’t exercise for a month.  There are also the ongoing issues of several people I care about facing very serious medical issues.  The last straw was traveling for the holidays and coming home with bronchitis that kept me low for 2 weeks.

So, now it is mid-January and I am feeling behind and oomph-less.  What am I going to do?

Take Care of My Body: Exercising, eating healthy, and getting plenty of rest, are the basic building blocks of feeling good and restoring my energy levels.

Be Gentle with Myself: Feeling behind or pushing myself to do things are grounded in judgments of where I am.  Instead, I am going to let my days gracefully unfold based on how I am feeling.  The funny things is, when I take the heat off I often accomplish more.

Honor My Feelings: I shared with my book group about my friend in hospice and was surprised that they made such a big deal about it.  I would have told you I was handling things gracefully, and I was, but I was not taking the time to connect with my feelings.  I know that when I let my feelings process, I always feel lighter.

Spiritual Practice: I will be re-grounding in my daily practices.  Meditation, journaling, prayer, and spending time in nature will be some of the tools I use.

Focus on the Positive: Talking or thinking about not having energy will only make it more true.   My focus has been on resisting how I feel or making up stories to support it.  Instead, I am choosing to shift my focus to how I want to feel and embracing it fully.

Engagement:  Being with friends and communities that support me is incredibly healing.  I already have several coffee and lunch dates on my calendar with fun people who I find inspiring.  The other part of engagement is to step into my intentions and goals, even if it is in a very small way in the beginning.  These small actions can re-connect me with what I want to do and remind me why it is so important to me.

What do you think of my plan to get my oomph back?  Is there anything in it that might help you?  

You can comment by clicking on “Leave a Comment” under the title of this post.

Intimidation

Is there someone in your life who you find intimidating or challenging?  Perhaps it is time for a change in perspective.

Just imagine them:

  • As a toddler having a tantrum
  • Shrinking to a very small size and speaking in a mouse sized voice
  • With words flashing on their forehead like sad, hurt, insecure, afraid, etc.
  • As the sweet little infant they once were
  • Morphing into a cartoon or fairy tale character 

And, my favorite:

  • See them for who they really are – a beautiful soul in a human body having a not so pretty life experience.

Don’t forget to leave a comment with your thoughts, ideas, or experiences using these tools.

 

 

SmileBaloon

Many people believe that we are souls put on this earth to experience life as a means to learning lessons and evolving spiritually.

You might hear them say that when something bad happens it is for the highest good, that you will learn and grow from it, or that there are hidden blessings involved.

What stands out for me is that you only hear people talk about these life lessons when things are going wrong.  Is it not probable that we are also here to experience lessons about love, joy, and success?

Consider these life experiences:

  • Learning to receive
  • Being loved unconditionally
  • Creativity
  • Connecting with nature
  • Living your passion
  • Loving someone with all your heart
  • The joy of uplifting others
  • Experiencing the miracle of carrying and giving birth to a child

Just imagine how your energy will shift when your awareness expands to include the full range of life lessons, the good as well as those that might feel more challenging.

I would love to hear about some of the beautiful life lessons you have experienced.  You can share by clicking on  “Comments” under the title of this post.

unhappy-wife

Even great relationships have their ups and downs. When a relationship hiccup comes into your life, how you move through it can make all the difference.

This 5 step process will support you in becoming more clear and processing things in a healthy way.

Vent It:  Write your upsets out on paper instead of venting at your partner or to other people who don’t need to be involved.  Find a quiet time and space and just let the words flow.  When you are done, destroy the paper in some way.

Get Perspective:  Someone may have upset you, but they are likely supportive in other ways.  When you are in the middle of being upset it is easy to forget this. Make a list of their good qualities, how they have contributed to your well-being, and what you have learned from them.

Forgiveness:  This step is important for you and does not mean you are saying the other person was right.  Forgiveness is a way of releasing the hold a person or story has on you.  Start by forgiving them for what they did and then forgive yourself for any part you played in the situation and judgments you made about yourself or the other person.

Truth:  Ask yourself what is really true.  This is another great exercise to put on paper.  Just let the words flow.  When you release your tight hold on the upsetting story, the truth will be revealed.

Move Forward: You get to choose what to do next.  You may feel there is something you want to communicate or an action you want to take.  Perhaps, you are ready to return your focus to love and gratitude for the relationship.  This is your opportunity to step into consciously creating a new story for yourself and the relationship you are a part of.

These tools work for all types of relationships and can also be used to heal what has happened in your past.

sailing_safe

Life is full of ups and downs and it is easy to get caught in the trap of letting your feelings and self worth rise and fall as things happen to you.

I remember once applying for a job and everything was going great until they gave me a test.  I aced the personality questions, basic math, and word comprehension.  And then, I came to a section on algebra.    Now, algebra was never one of my strengths and it had been decades since I had even seen it.  I was pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with the job I was applying for.

But, it brought me to my knees. 

I left that day feeling stupid.  There was a dark cloud of toxic energy following me everywhere I went.  Instead of surfing the wave of a small setback, my emotions were reacting and turning it into a catastrophe.  I was making myself sea sick.

There are still moments in my life when I react to what happens outside of me instead of being grounded in the truth of who I am.  When this happens, I ask myself these questions: 

  • Will it matter one month or one year from now?
  • What is the truth in this situation?
  • Does this define me?
  • What is my soul telling me?
  • What does God want me to know?
  • What action can I take to move on?
  • What am I grateful for?

Go ahead, try them.  They might work for you, too.

husband-and-wife-upset

My client was really upset.  Her husband spent the morning watching Nascar on TV instead of cleaning the yard as promised.  She could feel her frustration become more intense with the sound of each lap the cars made around the track.  By the time she talked to me on Monday, she was ready to vent.

I listened to her story about how terrible her husband was and how he was to blame.  I think she was a little surprised by what happened next.  When I suggested that she was the source of her own discomfort, she stopped short.

People do things we don’t like and sometimes those things impact our lives in negative ways, but we always have a choice in how we process them.  What my client’s husband chose to do that morning was about him, but, my client’s reaction was all her own.  She could have handled the situation without feeling like a victim or suffering.

Relationships are complicated and we are all human, but we do have choices.  The next time you feel yourself getting upset, stop and ask yourself if there might be a better way to respond to the situation.  Remind yourself that letting yourself get worked is a waste of your precious time on this earth and will only hurt you.

And then, make a self-honoring choice …

garage

She is being evicted, has limited resources, and does not know where she will go.

Even though she lives with someone in their home, she has filled it to the brim with stuff.  The garage is packed floor to ceiling and unusable.  The house and patio are at their limits, too.  She likes to collect cute things at garage sales and seems to love them all.

And now, she has to leave in two days.  Her last garage sale was this week and the garage is still 2/3 full.  This letting go seems to be pulling her apart inside and filling her with grief.

Is there a break through coming from this heartbreak?  I don’t know.

What I do know is that witnessing her experience has intrigued and touched me.  I can’t even imagine what this is like for her.

And yet, I know this is her journey and stuff is just stuff.   I wonder what it represents for her.  I start to wonder what my stuff represents for me and why having things can hold such power over us.

Is it true that we own our things or do they really own us?  I live fairly simply and would like to believe mine don’t, but now I am not so sure…

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject that is very present for me.  You can share by adding a comment to this post.


Linda Luke

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lifecoachlinda@gmail.com

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