Life Coach Linda

Archive for the ‘Giving’ Category

sad-woman

It’s always there on some level, lurking in the shadows or making a full frontal attack.  Bad things happen.  Tornados, hurricanes, divorce, people close to you get ill or die.  It would be easy to become immobile with the sadness of it all, but that doesn’t serve anyone.

Here is what I have learned to do:

Check my perspective: I can see it all as tragic or I can trust that there are blessings too.  I give myself permission not to understand and even if it feels yucky know that someone, maybe many, are growing from the experience.  People support each other in tragedy, families come together when someone they love is dying, and from the ashes new dreams are born.  It is not my place to decide what is good or bad, right or wrong, faith or love.

Do what I can:  I read to my friend in hospice, support my clients through their challenges, and listen to a friend who just learned she has a life threatening condition.  Volunteering and prayer are ways to help on a larger scale. There is always something I can do.

Focus on gratitude:  I am a sensitive person and can easily take on the pain of others, but that does nothing to make things better.  Instead, I acknowledge my feelings and let them come forward, but don’t let myself get stuck there.  The way I do this is by recognizing the ways my life is blessed.  When homes are destroyed by acts of nature I am thankful for the shelter I have and when my friend lost her mobility I was clear that my daily walks were a gift.  The tragedies of others can bring into the light how lucky I am.

I am not saying that I have this down perfectly.  I am human. What I can say is that this practice supports me and it gets easier each time.  I wonder if it could support you, too.

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Have you ever had one of those holiday seasons where you felt over-scheduled, over-budget, and just plain frazzled?  And, when it was all over you were just glad it was done?

This year can be different. 

You can set an intention now for how you want to be and what you want to experience this holiday season before even stepping into the whirlwind of holiday mania.  Let go of obligations and expectations and become clear about what would make your holidays meaningful, peaceful, and fun.

Time: Do you want to go to as many parties and events as possible or choose the most important ones and have time to really enjoy them?

The Holiday Dinner:  Is it worth doing a grand masterpiece of a dinner if you are too busy and too stressed to be with your friends and family?  Or, could you do something simpler, focusing on their favorites and spending more time with them instead?

Spending:  Will you buy expensive gifts out of a sense of obligation or choose to give from the heart?  Would your friends and family want you to go into debt for their gifts?

When you are clear what you want for your holiday experience, form an intention that will support you in staying true to your heartfelt desires.  You may want to post the intention where it is visible or keep a copy in your wallet to help you stay focused.

Let your intention guide you to a more peaceful, joyful, and meaningful holiday season.

What are your holiday season intentions or desires?  You can share by clicking on “Comments” under the title of this post.

 

I recently connected online with a cousin I did not know I had.  She had lived outside of our family and knew very little about our shared grandmother.  I happily shared information and pictures and knew that it meant a lot to her.  It felt natural and easy to do and I was excited to have this new cousin come in to my life.

It was only later that I realized the deeper level of healing going on.  I was giving her the gift that I had always wanted.  When I was a child, my father did not talk about his parents and even today it is surprising how little I know about them.  All I have are names, dates, and a few little stories.  There was an empty space in the grandparent files of my heart and I would have loved for someone to tell me more.

When we do not receive something we want or need as a child we carry the feeling of that absence with us into our future lives.  When it is triggered we may even feel like the child we were when we had the original experience or respond in an immature way.  I have found that the act of giving is a beautiful and natural way to bring these issues full circle.

Give to Yourself: If you wanted to be loved, love yourself.  If you wanted to be heard, listen to your heart.  If you were kept from following your dreams, choose a dream and go for it.

Give to Someone Else: If you were treated badly or held back in some way, you can give others the opposite experience.  This happens a lot with our children.  I have a client who grew up with an alcoholic father and is committed to giving her children the gift of a sober and healthy home.

Give to Your Inner Child: Imagine yourself at an age when there was something missing in your life.  Picture yourself as that child.  You can talk to her, hug her, color with her, or play on the swings at the park.  You might be surprised how healing and how much fun it is to relate with your inner little one.

There will be times, like in my story, when this happens so naturally that you do not even notice what is happening.  And, there will be other times when you sense an old need and make a conscious choice to work with it.  Either way, you are stepping into opportunities for healing and moving forward.

Happy Giving!

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In these busy times filled with work, activities, and technology designed to help us stay connected we are crying out for something more. We want to be seen, heard, and feel acknowledged, basic human needs that we all crave. They may also be the greatest gifts we can give. Here is how:

  • Be fully present with the person you are with
  • See them as a soul in a human body
  • Look them in the eyes
  • Listen deeply
  • Reflect back to them what they say
  • Acknowledge them and let them know they are appreciated

Who can you give the gift of attention to today?


Linda Luke

Email Me

lifecoachlinda@gmail.com

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