Life Coach Linda

How to Get Past a Relationship Hiccup

Posted on: September 30, 2013


Even great relationships have their ups and downs. When a relationship hiccup comes into your life, how you move through it can make all the difference.

This 5 step process will support you in becoming more clear and processing things in a healthy way.

Vent It:  Write your upsets out on paper instead of venting at your partner or to other people who don’t need to be involved.  Find a quiet time and space and just let the words flow.  When you are done, destroy the paper in some way.

Get Perspective:  Someone may have upset you, but they are likely supportive in other ways.  When you are in the middle of being upset it is easy to forget this. Make a list of their good qualities, how they have contributed to your well-being, and what you have learned from them.

Forgiveness:  This step is important for you and does not mean you are saying the other person was right.  Forgiveness is a way of releasing the hold a person or story has on you.  Start by forgiving them for what they did and then forgive yourself for any part you played in the situation and judgments you made about yourself or the other person.

Truth:  Ask yourself what is really true.  This is another great exercise to put on paper.  Just let the words flow.  When you release your tight hold on the upsetting story, the truth will be revealed.

Move Forward: You get to choose what to do next.  You may feel there is something you want to communicate or an action you want to take.  Perhaps, you are ready to return your focus to love and gratitude for the relationship.  This is your opportunity to step into consciously creating a new story for yourself and the relationship you are a part of.

These tools work for all types of relationships and can also be used to heal what has happened in your past.


6 Responses to "How to Get Past a Relationship Hiccup"

I am really glad to have stopped by your blog. these are terrific points. I’ve always found a great release in journaling. I will consider these exercises the next time a relationship hiccup occurs!

I am glad to hear you will be using the tools. Light to your next hiccup…

So many great points. It is important to move forward and every reaction we have in life is one of our choosing. This is some great insight.

Thank you for your kind words.

I very much agree with these steps. I would be interested to know about communicating with this individual through this process. I assume these steps can be personalized and that people can choose to continue working on the relationship while following this process or they can discontinue the relationship as they move through your steps. I guess it depends on the relationship, but these are certainly a start to healing.

Every relationship and interaction is different. These steps are for the individual and can often be processed pretty quickly by taking quiet time with a journal. They can neutralize negative energy that blocks clarity and makes the next steps clear. Communication will be less reactive and more constructive in most case. Ideally, the relationship can be healed. Either way, the person who takes these steps will feel better and be able to move through it with more grace.

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Linda Luke

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