Life Coach Linda

Want to Be Happy? Stop Doing This…

Posted on: July 1, 2013

boo-hoo1

Sometimes things just don’t go well – people treat you badly, you don’t get what you want, and life beats you down.

Don’t you just hate that?

The real question is – what do you do next?  Odds are you keep replaying the situation in your mind, and then talk to others about it, looking for agreement and support.  I know because I have done it.

When you do this you are putting your focus on what did not work, which only makes you feel worse. It is like bathing in discontent and unhappiness all day, week, month, or maybe even years.

And then, you share that feeling with others, which impacts how they feel too.   Very few people enjoy being with a complainer.  Some may avoid you and others may just tune you out.  Either way you are not connecting or feeling heard.

Complaining is a habit.  One that impacts you and those around you in a negative way.  The good news is that habits can be changed. Here are some steps that can support you in that process:

  • Recognize it is a habit and make a decision to let it go.
  • Visualize how your life will improve when you stop complaining.
  • Focus on the blessings in your life.
  • Write 5 things you are grateful for each day.
  • Empower yourself by taking action to change what you don’t like.

So, I have a challenge for you.  Are you willing to give up complaining for at least one week?  It’s not something you will regret and I would love to hear how it goes. You can share your experience in the comments section of this blog.

Let’s all enjoy a complaint free week!

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16 Responses to "Want to Be Happy? Stop Doing This…"

(whiny voice) But what if I can’t make it a whole week??? waaaahhhh
OK, I’ll re-read and try harder!

Cute. You don’t have to be perfect…. make a decision and then do your best.

I love the challenge. Recognize the bad habit and let it go. Look forward to putting your action items to work. Thanks, Linda 🙂

Dropping by to read your blog from the Blog Challenge, Linda. Great advice to stop complaining. I can get into that Poor Me victim state so easily when I complain that my life isn’t as perfect as I’d like. Get over it, I tell myself. I need to be grateful that I’m here in a great country and I’m healthy and free and that’s a lot to be thankful for!

Your blog post today was the exact opposite of complaining. I still have remnants of my old victim persona too and being grateful is one of the tools I use to keep it at bay.

Holy COW this is a GREAT LINE: “It is like bathing in discontent and unhappiness all day, week, month, or maybe even years.” Reminds me so much of my mom – I’ve done a lot of inner work on myself to de-program that habit of complaining. Thanks for reminding me once again to take a look at where I might still have some dustbunnies to clean up in that area!

Thank you. I felt like that line came through me, not from me. I guess that is what life is about, cleaning out the dust bunnies.

Thanks Linda for your consistently sage advice!

Good article but I don’t think I can stop my complaining :(. I found your article via the UBC :).

Still I shall try to stop complaining, just to see if it works!

If you fully commit, your best effort will be perfect. What is it that Yoda told Luke Skywalker? Something about Try not. Do or not do.
I know you can do it.

Count me in on the complaint free week Linda. Great post!

I have a friend who stops when she starts feeling down or upset and writes down all the things she’s grateful for. If I ever complain to her, she counters me with all the things I had to be thankful for. I love that trait about her!!!

This is such a great list of ways to deal with negative things in our lives. It happens to all of us. Your right how we deal with them makes a world of difference.

I often suggest my clients right gratitudes every day, and love the way your friend approaches it. She uses it right there in the moment. Thank you for sharing this.

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Linda Luke

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