Don’t Waste Your Time Trying to Figure Things Out
Posted October 17, 2012on:
My client, Sylvia, felt like her world was changing faster than she could cope. Her last child left for college and after years of being a stay at home mom she needed to find a way to produce income. Faced with a multitude of choices and not feeling secure in herself, she froze. For months she did nothing. Nothing except beat herself up for doing nothing, that is.
When Sylvia came to me she was really surprised when I told her to stop trying to figure things out. I told her to just let it go for now. Take a break. First she panicked and then she breathed a huge sigh of relief. It felt like she had not breathed fully in a long time.
It is easy to get twisted up into mental knots trying to figure out the challenges and choices in your life. These knots prevent you from thinking clearly and can make your mind spin in confusing circles. This is the work of fear. Fears job is to keep you safe and that often means keeping you stuck. No risks. No wrong choices. No possible failure. Your mental confusion may also be a subconscious way of resisting what you do not want ton some level. And sometimes, it’s just that you are looking for the answers in your head, when they are really in your heart.
At our coaching appointment the following week, Sylvia was noticeably calmer and felt better. Her vacation from her long fought internal dilemma freed her up and allowed her to take a step back and see things more clearly. Next, I had her gather information about her choices from this more neutral space, still not having to figure things out. I also had her start journaling and doing other processes that would help her connect with her heart. Within a short period of time the answers became clear. She just knew. It felt good. And, it all started with giving herself a break from trying to figure it out.
Your Turn: What do you need to give yourself a break from? Have you ever had answers come after taking a break?